2007-08-21 - 7:46 p.m.
It has been a long time since i actually typed anything into this diary itself. hmmm. nothing up nowadays, despite that i just feel like practice some writing skills and not always depend on msn to do my trainings.
so anyway, as i have mentioned nothing has been really up for me. relationship wise it is of non-existence. gaming wise, it has been really stagnant in the gaming industry. social life wise. wad social life? studies wise, well its pretty obvious i aint studying anything since i'm in the army.
speaking of studies, i'm so envious of the guys actually studying again, though i know it'll be a bitch to actually study again. however to serve the nation can be quite sian. but i guess the grass is always greener on the other side. when i start studying, i'll actually also start bitching about how school sucks so bad that i regret going to school. i guess it'll be a phase i've to go through like so many others around me who've actually gone through it or are actually going through this phase. well... 11 more months to ord...
lately, i've been thinking about my past relationships and how things turned out. i must say, i dun have the best history of relationships as i feel they tend to start fast and well, the flame dies off faster. though i think getting over the first gf was the hardest, and trying to maintain a r/s in army was just driving me nuts. thus the reason why i kinda ended my relationship with 2nd gf. hmmm... being single for about a year, there is this stupid and irritating feeling of loneliness again. i dunno why. maybe it is habitual for most guys to feel lonely from time to time, or is it just the lack of good games coming from the gaming industry? or maybe it is due to me just feeling damn sianz with this mundane life i'm actuall living now and want a new experience? ahh.. i'm not sure.
well i've been trying to see this girl for the past few months, though i think nothing has even developed. 'date' after 'date', there seems to be no improvement despite how much i had hoped maybe a bit of chemistry could have been developed. but i guess, its at most just gonna be platonic. well, i guess i'm just serving my karma at the moment then. watching too much of 'my name is earl' is really affecting me. not that i really watch a lot of it, but its the idea behind the story, karma which has left a huge impression of me. for me, karma is not exactly in the Buddhist terminology. rather, i associate with God making things even. so, because i actually broke up with my ex gf, i'm currently serving karma or in crude terms, i'm karma's bitch till my term is up. so i guess that explains the lack of response from the girl i've been trying to see. oh well, i've got no1 to blame but myself. serve my term and maybe, hope for a better future.
i guess i've to stop writing here. will probably continue some other time when i've the mood....
piss off
yia
